


Call Me When You're Dead

by MissJewelry373



Series: Probably Never Going To Be Finished [1]
Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Humorous, Modern AU, Sort Of, in a weird way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 07:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12316821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissJewelry373/pseuds/MissJewelry373
Summary: When Zoey looked out her kitchen window that morning, the last thing she expected was zombies. Oh, or the bumbling idiot waving a rake around on her front lawn. ZoeyxEllis/Zellis.





	Call Me When You're Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Left4Dead.

Zoey slowly opened her eyes, sighing as she stared up at the cream-colored ceiling of her bedroom.

The morning sun streamed in through the glass pane doors leading outside to the patio on her right. It was a beautiful day.

She blinked, once, twice, three times before sighing again and sitting up. She really didn't feel like doing anything, especially on a nice day like this when she could just sleep in or doze off in one of the lawn chairs on the patio and just enjoy the sun's rays. But she had things to do, and so she couldn't.

Zoey haphazardly flung the covers off of her legs and swung them over the side of the bed, sighing yet again as her bare feet met the cool, tan carpet. She stared down at her toes, wriggling them between the fibers of the carpet. It was so dumb, having to work on a Saturday.

She stood up, grumbling unintelligible curses at her coworker for calling off.

Rubbing her eyes and yawning, she slowly made her way to the bathroom to freshen up and do her business.

* * *

She walked into the kitchen, trying her best to get the sleep out of her eyes and blink herself awake as she stumbled over to the fridge.

She opened the refrigerator, her skin contracting goosebumps from the rush of cold as she tried to find something to eat.

She quickly decided on cereal, and she none-too-gently grabbed hold of the half empty jug of milk and slammed it on the counter, moving to the cupboard and getting out a bowl. She poured the cereal and then the milk, slinging open the drawer that held the silverware and taking out a spoon. She then took her bowl of Wheaties and sat down at the table, chewing and munching on her food as she stared sleepily ahead into the living room beyond. When she was done, Zoey took her bowl and set it in the sink, taking the time to reach out her arms and stretch.

She sighed, and looked out the kitchen window above the sink.

Suburbia. Nice green grass, nice people, and nice houses. All in one place. What more could one ask fo-

"What the hell...?" She muttered, squinting her eyes as she looked out onto her front lawn.

There was a person there, a man, lingering in her yard with his back turned. He was standing rather awkwardly, with his neck craned and his left leg bent at an odd angle. She noticed that his hands weren't relaxed as a person's should be, but tensed and positioned like a hawk's talons.

"Oh, great..." she said to herself, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

This was just what she needed to start her morning, some hobo wandering up to her house when she needed to be at work. Now she was going to have to-

Before she could do anything, another figure suddenly came into view across the lawn. They had a rake in their hands, and they swiftly ran up and slugged the man in the back of the head, causing him to fall down.

Zoey gasped, eyes widening as she recognized who it was.

Angry, she stomped over to the front door and marched outside, not bothering to close it as she shouted, "ELLIS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU _DOING?!_ "

The man in question - or rather, the _idiot_ in question - whirled around to face her, idly swinging the garden tool around to keep a few more people that had surrounded him at bay.

"ZO', GET BACK IN THE HOUSE!" He shouted, reversing his hold on the rake to stab a woman in the eye.

Zoey's hands flew up to her mouth, eyes wide as saucers as she stared at the dead woman's bloody face.

"GO!" He urged, whacking another one.

She gasped, backing away several feet before running into something solid.

She whirled around, a scream ready to emanate from her throat as her eyes landed on the bloody mouth and dead, white eyes of a man at least six feet tall. He stumbled toward her, making a grab for her neck as she let out a panicked shriek and jumped away, screaming again when a hand grabbed her arm from behind. She spun around and slugged them as hard as she could, but the painful throb in her wrist was muted by the realization that it was-

"OW!" Ellis whined, clutching with one hand at his jaw. "What was that for?"

She barely had time to open her mouth as his eyes widened and he shoved her aside.

"Look out!"

By the time Zoey regained her balance and turned around, the man that had tried to grab her was lying dead on the lawn, his blood staining the suburban green. She stared wide-eyed at the sight before her, breaths coming in short, shallow gasps as she began to hyperventilate. Fortunately for her, Ellis didn't give her the chance.

"Come on, Zo', we gots to _GO!_ "

He tossed the rake over to his other hand and grabbed her wrist, dragging her back inside and shutting the door. Zoey tried to control her breathing while Ellis locked and latched it, plastering himself against it as he looked through the peephole.

"You okay, Zo'?" He asked, his own breaths short and heavy.

Zoey, having finally registered his words, glared up at him and grabbed roughly at his shoulder, nails digging in through his shirt as she spun him around. " _No_ , I'm not okay, you _idiot!_ What the hell _was_ that?!"

He opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the sound of breaking glass.

They simultaneously looked over at the source - she to her left and he to his right - to see one of the things crawling in through the kitchen window, blood streaming down into the sink from the cuts in their stomach. Zoey's stomach lurched at the sight.

"Come on, this way!" Ellis grabbed her hand again and darted through the living room, stopping when she jerked them to a halt.

"No, this way!" She said, guiding them back through the kitchen and into her bedroom.

Shutting the door, she hastily let go of his hand and went to lock it.

"We can get through here," she said quickly, moving past him to the sliding glass doors leading to the backyard patio.

"Come on, hurry!" She beckoned, becoming frantic as multiple fists began beating on the other side of the bedroom door.

Ellis trotted over to join her at the transparent doors, waiting for her to slide them open as he gripped his weapon with tight fingers. The door opened, and Zoey led the way as they raced to the red five-foot-tall privacy fence that separated their culdesac from the woods beyond.

"Here, lemme help ya," Ellis offered, dropping his rake and lacing his fingers together for her to use as a stepping stool.

She twisted her face into an unpleasant expression. "I don't need your help! I can do it mysel-"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, come _on!_ This ain't the time to be arguin' over chauvinism and all that crap! Now hurry up!"

She opened her mouth to retort, but nothing came out as the insistent beating on her bedroom door reached her ears. Deciding against it, she stepped into his laced hands and heaved herself over the fence, dropping unceremoniously onto the hard ground below.

Ellis's rake soon followed, its many loose prongs whacking her on the head before bouncing off onto the grass beside her, and she scrambled out of the way as its owner frantically hopped over the fence, landing with a thud on his back when his pant leg got caught on a snag in the wood.

He groaned. "Ooohh, that's gonna hurt in the mornin'..."

Zoey crawled over to him and urged him to move. "Come on, get up! We can't just stay here! We have to move, let's _go!_ "

She leapt away when a loud banging hit from the other side of the fence, the force causing the entire section of her backyard to warp and bend towards them. Panicking, she moved back over to Ellis and raised her hand, poised to slap him if that was what it took to get him to move. He widened his eyes and curled into a fetal position just as she made to hit him, moving his hands to frantically cover his face.

"OH GOD, NO! NOT AGAIN!"

Zoey halted her hand, exhaling in relief. "Okay, great. Now let's get moving-"

She let out a scream as the fence bent further towards them, giving way to reveal the tops of several mangled heads as they continued to bang against the weakening structure.

"Oh, my God..." she whispered, not noticing that Ellis was already up and making a grab for his rake.

Her hand was taken hold of and she was suddenly spun around, and without really noticing, she was hauled to her feet and running alongside him as he led them through the trees. Her legs felt numb and her brain was fuzzy, and she shook her head to try and rid herself of her detached mental state and focus on the present. Her mouth felt dry.

"What _were_ those things?!" She demanded, looking behind her at the shrinking fence. Her head pounded. "And _what_ were you doing at my house?!"

"Look, all I know is that I woke up this mornin' and when I went outside to get the mail, my neighbors were tryin'a eat me!" He replied, voice raised in panic. "And I came by yer house to _apologize_ for _yesterday_ , for your information!"

Zoey dropped her gaze, feeling a brief surge of guilt as she looked ahead of them and into the seemingly aimless woods, having no idea where they were going. Her heart rate was like a rabbit's.

"Look, don't worry," Ellis said beside her, breathing heavily as they ran. "I'm takin' us to my buddy Keith's! We'll be safe there until we can figure out what's goin' on!"

"Well I hope _you_ know where you're going, because _I_ sure don't!" She replied, already short on breath.

"No worries, I know these woods like the back of my hand!" He grinned, though she didn't bother trying to look too assured by that statement.

 _Great_ , she thought. _I'm stuck in the middle of a freaking apocalypse with no one but a hillbilly to keep me company_.

Ellis gripped her hand tighter and the two slowed to a jog, both looking suspiciously around them as they made their way to Keith's.


End file.
